Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tales of an Asshat

So, I got some inspiration from Kristin over at Taming Insanity about being an asshat. Go read her post because it's funny. I'll wait.



...Helllllooo?...Hey! You were supposed to come back! Hmph.

Well fine then. I'm still going to tell the tale of my asshattery. Even if I'm talking to myself. Well, typing to myself. Oh, never mind.

So. A while back, my stepdaughter Princess had a bit of a "poo incident" as we like to call them. I discovered this when Hub emerged from the bathroom carrying her shorts and underwear with 2 fingers at a significant distance from his person.

"She didn't make it to the bathroom on time." Oh, goody. "What should I do with these?"

Burn them? Throw them in a bucket of turpentine? Take this opportunity to teach Princess how to wash her own clothes?


"Put them in the utility sink thingy downstairs by the washer. I'll get it later."

So, he dutifully takes the offending soiled garments downstairs & tosses them in the sink, just as I have asked him to do. Good Hub. Thank you. You have listened well.

Later on, I threw in a load of laundry. I don't remember what I washed, but it was something with which poo crusted underwear was not compatible, so I did not throw those in with the wash. I left them in the utility sink where hub had tossed them for me.

Fast forward an hour or so. I go into the laundry room to put the load in the dryer. I notice, as I step in it's cold, squishy goodness, that the rug in front of the washer is wet.

First thought? Is "damn cat peed on the rug!" I glance around the laundry room & notice that a lot of the floor is wet. Gandalf (cat) has done some impressive things in his day, but this amount of wet? Is out of even his league.

See, the floor is not just a little wet. There are puddles.

I start to panic, thinking the water heater has sprung a leak. I start running through scenarios of how I'm going to break this joyous news to Hub. And the freezing shower I'll have to take that night.

Then it occurs to me, I had just given Boo a bath & the water was plenty warm. Probably wouldn't be the case if the water heater was in the process of its explosive death throes.

Then I notice the sink. And the underwear that are now stuffed in the drain. Our washer drains into this sink. So it is kinda important that the drain remain unobstructed. Didn't occur to me when I told Hub to toss the underwear in there. Or when I started the laundry.

It's amazing how much of a mess a poo incident in a tiny pair of underwear can make when the situation is managed by an asshat like myself!

Ooops. And guess who got to mop up the laundry room? It even flooded the cat box. Yay me.



  1. Soooo gross! You need to disinfect a BIG area now!

  2. Yes. It was certainly not the highlight of my evening. Plus? My fault. So not something I could pawn off on Hub.

  3. Bleach is good. Especially when poo is involved. >.<

  4. I believe in getting every last bit of "clump" out of that litter as I can!! Really? So yucky. Especially since the box was in need of a change.

  5. All the tree huggers may hate me, but underwear this soiled quickly become disposable or I would have played the "you touched it last" game with your husband.

  6. I have done this. Thankfully, this is an anonymous blog, because I work for tree huggers! O.O Cotton is biodegradable, right? Right???

  7. It was gross. But I have learned. On the first try! To never, ever do that again. *sigh*

  8. Stories like this make me realize I am not quite ready for children. My child would have no undies because I would throw them all out once soiled.

    I feel like the cat box may have been the most annoying part of clean up. Was it?