Thursday, March 3, 2011

Dating a pregnant chick

When I met the man who would eventually become my husband, I was in an unusual state of mind.

For most of my post-pubescent life, I have been, perhaps, a bit boy-crazy. Once I figured out what they were for, I wanted one of my own.

I just had a hell of a time trying to find one that I wanted to keep.

There was the white trash reject, the we-should've-just-stayed-friends guy, the spineless emo guy (complete with tiny junk), the completely unmotivated pothead (with a very hot roommate...coulda, shoulda, woulda...*sigh*), the astonishingly-immature-even-tho-he-was-way-older stalker, the drunk, etc.

The drunk knocked me up and left the state upon learning of said knock uppage. Real sweetheart, huh?

By this point, I was 26, had been a serial monogamist for 10+ years and completely done trying to date. I had a kid coming that I had to consider & really, it was just easier to be on my own.

I met Hub when I was 6 months pregnant and still very determinedly not interested in dating. I was working 2 jobs & was still feeling the sting of being knocked up & left.

Fuck men.

Figuratively speaking.

Hub had previously been with his baby mama who really didn't want to do anything on her own. She preferred to "contract out" any work that might need to be done with a "service exchange" program. With pretty much anyone who might be willing to exchange services.



Hub meets me and is all enamored of my "can do" attitude (i.e. the "fuck everyone I'm going to take care of this shit myself" attitude). He was amazed at how hard I was working to make things happen.

I told him we would not date. I had no desire to date. None. Plus? I was gigantically pregnant. No. Dating.

So about a month later we were dating.


He had told his family (on the other side of the country) that he was dating a woman with a kid. Which was true. He just omitted the fact that the kid? Was still IN the woman he was dating.


I didn't know this until right before I delivered. I was suitably frowny and told him he'd have to own up. If he didn't? It would bite him in the ass later. He agreed.

On the day I delivered Boo, he called his family to tell them the news. Here's how that went:


"Hi, Mom? I'm Ok. I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the hospital right now."

POP (this is the sound of my eyeballs flying out of my head)

"What? No, I'm fine. It's the girl I'm seeing"

Me: facepalm

" know how I said she had a kid? Well, actually, she just had him. No, just now. Yeah, sorry about that."

If my son ever makes a phone call like that to me? I think I will implode. Just saying...


  1. Hahahaa..

    Oh my.

    p.s. Did you change your background? It looks different over here...

  2. Hub has quite the way with words, let me tell you. LoL

    I did change my background. The other one was too gloomy & had been bugging me for a while, so I updated it. :)

  3. Love this. Yes, a way with words, indeed. I needed a good laugh today, thanks!

  4. Oh, good lord. Men can be such... doofuses.

  5. If I took the time to note some of the crap my husband says? I would never be at a loss for blog fodder. Altho, he might start to get the impression I was mocking him.


  6. Yes. Yes they can. And when it comes to talking & considering the effect of his words? My husband is frequently a doofus. LoL

  7. it is different type of dating but you can say it is different for other dating.

  8. well at that point he wasn't lying anymore. You had a kid outside your body then. Nevemind that the baby had just arrived ;-)

  9. Doh! Well, at least you can tell his fam that YOU had nothing to do with his "approach" to informing them. :)

  10. Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you but it sure gave me a chuckle. Facepalm indeed.

    Oh, men.

  11. Yes! Just a teeny tiny little detail anyway...LoL

  12. That's the way my husband approaches most things. We've had many a heated discussion resulting from his "approach" LoL

  13. Love love love that you told this story!

    The image of you "suitably frowny?"

    I am all giggly.

    I love this story!

  14. I do that far too often. In fact, many of our conversations have these phrases in them:
    Me: I (slightly modified a (major) detail of something I told her previously)
    Wife: Wait....I thought you said it was (thing I said with (major) detail of something omitted)
    Me: Oh. No. I'm pretty sure I told you that ((major) detail)
    Wife: I'm pretty sure you didn't.

  15. LMAO!!! Just a small detail he left out.

  16. Oh. My. GAWD. That is the facepalm of all facepalms.

  17. Oh wow. He sounds like a winner - in a fun and crazy kind of way. ;) I would have totally smacked him. And then been grateful he was there with me. We women are allowed to have mood swings, right? Even if they're that quick?

  18. Totally awesome. Look behind you. I'm following you. *wave*

  19. HAHA!! I can so relate to almost all of this post!!! I love it! All of it! I think we dated (if that's what you call it) all of the same list. I'm pretty sure we got knocked up by the same guy too! However, hubs and I started dating when I was preggers and let's just hope that they're not the same guy. :)

  20. Bwaaahahahaha! I just checked on hub doesn't spend time in FL, so I think we're ok. The drunk? Yeah, it's possible. But he was a smart, good looking at least the kids are cute. LoL

  21. Is it wrong of me that I kinda really want your son to make that call to you? Just because I think it'd be hilarious?

    Yeah, sorry about that.

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