Dating a pregnant chick

When I met the man who would eventually become my husband, I was in an unusual state of mind.

For most of my post-pubescent life, I have been, perhaps, a bit boy-crazy. Once I figured out what they were for, I wanted one of my own.

I just had a hell of a time trying to find one that I wanted to keep.

There was the white trash reject, the we-should've-just-stayed-friends guy, the spineless emo guy (complete with tiny junk), the completely unmotivated pothead (with a very hot roommate...coulda, shoulda, woulda...*sigh*), the astonishingly-immature-even-tho-he-was-way-older stalker, the drunk, etc.

The drunk knocked me up and left the state upon learning of said knock uppage. Real sweetheart, huh?

By this point, I was 26, had been a serial monogamist for 10+ years and completely done trying to date. I had a kid coming that I had to consider & really, it was just easier to be on my own.

I met Hub when I was 6 months pregnant and still very determinedly not interested in dating. I was working 2 jobs & was still feeling the sting of being knocked up & left.

Fuck men.

Figuratively speaking.

Hub had previously been with his baby mama who really didn't want to do anything on her own. She preferred to "contract out" any work that might need to be done with a "service exchange" program. With pretty much anyone who might be willing to exchange services.

Ahem.

Ew.

Hub meets me and is all enamored of my "can do" attitude (i.e. the "fuck everyone I'm going to take care of this shit myself" attitude). He was amazed at how hard I was working to make things happen.

I told him we would not date. I had no desire to date. None. Plus? I was gigantically pregnant. No. Dating.

So about a month later we were dating.

Ahem.

He had told his family (on the other side of the country) that he was dating a woman with a kid. Which was true. He just omitted the fact that the kid? Was still IN the woman he was dating.

Details.

I didn't know this until right before I delivered. I was suitably frowny and told him he'd have to own up. If he didn't? It would bite him in the ass later. He agreed.

On the day I delivered Boo, he called his family to tell them the news. Here's how that went:

Ring....Ring.....Ring...

"Hi, Mom? I'm Ok. I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the hospital right now."

POP (this is the sound of my eyeballs flying out of my head)

"What? No, I'm fine. It's the girl I'm seeing"

Me: facepalm

"Um...you know how I said she had a kid? Well, actually, she just had him. No, just now. Yeah, sorry about that."

If my son ever makes a phone call like that to me? I think I will implode. Just saying...