Ok, no. That's not all. If that were all? This would be a Tweet. I'm not that hard up for blog posts that I'm resorting to five word posts.
Not yet, anyway.
The thing that I hate most about hormones? Is that they're sneaky. I don't get any kind of memo, special cramp, hallucination, or text from my hormones. The bitches just show up and crap up my life.
Thankfully, since mine are semi-regulated by
Right around Wednesday in that 3rd row of pills, I have learned to be on the lookout for the signs.
About this time? I start having revelations. Revelations like "Wow. I look very puffy today." Followed shortly by "I have to pee! I have to pee! OMG...."
The revelation that I'm really F*ing tired hits me as I'm nodding off at my workstation. But I just slept 10 hours last night, how could I be tired??
Ok, see, that bit up there? Was just to give you a brief moment of insane jealousy. I don't *actually* get to sleep for 10 hours. Not in a row. The point is that I'm exceptionally exhausted, regardless of the length or quality of my sleep.
Really, tho, if you believed that? I'm worried about you...
And I'm hungry. Really hungry. Not for anything in particular. I don't really get cravings, per se. I just want, well, everything. I don't enjoy the food and really? I don't actually want it. It's more like a primordial drive to eat. Everything. Now.
Then there's the levitating pets. And my kids cowering behind the sofa. And my husband covered in green pea soup. And wow, my neck is really sore...
Ahh, yes. The demon psycho-bitch has arrived.
And there's poor little possessed me thinking "Gee, it's really not that big of a deal that Hub put the juice on the wrong shelf. What's with the sawed-off...wait..."
(Counts on fingers & reflects back to last night's pill location in the
It's the hormones.
Really? It would just be nice if there were of siren or something that would alert me to the arrival of hormones. Because nothing is more annoying than the question from Hub.
"Jeez...what, are you PMSing or something?"
"NO. Maybe. Shut up."
::flings levitated pet in his general direction::