Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Poo links

My son, who is 4, has a huge fascination with Poo. Everything to him is somehow related to Poo. He has had major control issues with his Poo (11 days of stockpiling on one occasion...dealing with that one was fun...). Perhaps his Poo fascination is simply because he's a boy. Or perhaps it's something else.

When he was about 10 or 11 months old, we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment in Phoenix. My milk supply was not keeping up with his demand & we had begun supplementing my waning supply with formula. He took to the formula well & pretty much refused to nurse a few weeks after we introduced it.

About this same time, he was getting to be pretty mobile & curious. He would now pull himself up to look at things & get into stuff so I had recently gone through and baby "proofed" the living room, which was where his crib was. His crib had an attached changing table/set of drawers/shelves attached to one side & he was quite interested in the contents of the shelves that are on the backside of the drawers.

One afternoon, I set him down & went into the kitchen to make him a bottle of formula. This was a simple task that should only take a minute or two. Our kitchen overlooked the living room, so he was fully within view. As I was mixing the formula & looked up to see him sitting next to the shelves on his crib playing with some little dark things. My thought is "Crap! I must have missed those when I cleaned off the shelves!"

I asked him "what have you got there?" As soon as I said something, the dog looked terrified and bolted from the room.

My next thought is "WTF is wrong with the dog...?" Then the light bulb slowly flickers on and I realize what my son is merrily playing with.

"Shit!" And I rush over to remove the offending pellets from his grasp.

And what do 10-month-olds do with interesting things they find & pick up? Oh, yes. As I reach my darling little boy, he looks up and grins a big brown grin. He has a gullet full of chihuahua poo.

Yes.

What do you do when your kid has a mouth full of dog shit? Will this make him sick? How do I get it out? He's 10 months old, he doesn't know how Listerine works just yet.

So, here I am freaking out about the poo in his gullet and how to remove the poo from said gullet. I hold him over the sink & try to scoop the poo out with my finger & rinse his mouth out as best as I can. I then call my dad in a panic to ask if I need to take him to the hospital or what.

Admirably, my dad managed to keep his laughter to a minimum (at least until I was off the phone...or else he was very adept with his mute button) and assured me that my boy would likely be just fine, but to keep an eye on him, just in case.

It was all very traumatizing. For me. My son thought the whole thing was really amusing & didn't understand why mommy was getting all stressed out.

Now, I'm just bummed that I didn't get a picture. It would've made the story much more colorful when I tell his future girlfriends. Ah, well.



This post is part of the Word Up, Yo! weekly word meme at Mommy of a Monster Check it out!

8 comments:

  1. LMAO - that is awesome. Oh my mind is spinning with all the inappropriate references you can make when he's older. I almost wish my kid would do the same just for the blackmail material later. Almost...

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  2. Oh that is hilarious. And oh so gross!!

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  3. Great triple use of the word gullet and very colorful story (no pictures needed). :)

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  4. A picture would be nice to hold over his head in his teenage years...you could have gotten a lot of chores done to keep that quiet around friends...now you know always to be ready. I'm sure he'll give you many more opportunities!

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  5. I agree with Kim! Blackmail pictures when he's a teen would've been great!

    You snuck gullet in there twice...and it flowed so well - awesome job!

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  6. LOL!!!! That's hilarious. Oh my gosh. Do you tease him about that now? Great use of gullet.

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  7. Oh that is so gross. I would have freaked out too! Great use of the WOW, though!

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  8. Oh, YUCK! I would be freaking, too! And probably gagging while cleaning out my kid's gullet! Great use of the word, BTW.

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