Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Anyone Else Bored?

Trying to decide what to think about today.

My husband is in mediation as I type to get custody of his daughter for the next year while her mother "gets her life together." We go back & forth about whether or not the "getting her life together" bit will actually happen (she is bipolar & prone to go off her meds, plus there's that pesky history of compulsive lying, cheating, manipulating, & sucking off the system among other things).

Adding a kid to the mix (especially a 5-year-old) is not particularly easy, but at least with the change in custody agreement, we'll know we're keeping her for a while, which helps with the ol' life planning bit...sometimes I think we're the only ones in our vicinity who does such things. Think before acting? Take care of what *needs* to be done? Evaluate problems logically instead of emotionally vindictively? Why would anyone want to do that? How boring.

I'm also bored with my job. Like I mentioned previously, I'm pretty decent at what I do. I really like my coworkers. I like what the company stands for, but it's not my passion. When I'm bored, I don't focus well. I will never love this enough to really know it & excel at it. I know I want to do something else, I just don't know what. I've been actively trying to figure that out (ok, *really* actively trying) for the past couple of weeks. I'm burned out on school & don't want to do anymore right now, but in order to "help people" & still "feed my family" I'll need a masters. Dammit, I don't want to do more school right now. How about sleeping, or cooking, or cleaning? Maybe even spend some time with my family??? I don't have enough energy to properly focus on anything & that just makes me grumpy...& no one likes that. I may have mentioned that before.

It's funny, but when I decided a couple of weeks ago that I am *definitely* not pursuing my life dream (I've tried to talk myself into doing this as a career because I don't like change), I've had a much harder time taking my work seriously. I'm going to have to do something about that. I'd prefer to choose the time & situation in which I change jobs/career paths. It may be a long while before I'm ready, so I'd prefer not to get my ass fired because I'm bored. Probably not the most practical path.

I also have some issue with my sciatic nerve. As I am prone to do, I Googled what was going on with my back & leg & have now diagnosed myself with Piriformis syndrome. Basically, a hip muscle is spasming & pissing off my sciatic nerve in the process. I know how this happened, but I'm trying to keep my blog PG-13, so we'll not discuss that. Nonetheless, I'd love to prescribe myself a nice potent muscle relaxer, too...

I've been having fun reading other blogs, too. There are some very amusing people out there. Perks up my day a bit.

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