Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Metabolism? I hate you.

Ok, let me warn you...this is a bit of a rant. If you're looking for inspiration (especially on healthy eating or weight loss) step away from the blog now.

You have been warned.

So, as you may or may not be aware, I have been trying to "make more healthy choices" recently. For a number of reasons. I am realizing that to be the best mate/mother/person I can be, I need to love myself and truly take care of myself.

Right?

Right.

Ok, so given that, as I have also previously mentioned, I have 50 pounds of baby weight that needs to vacate.

Let me say, I have been quite disciplined these past 3 weeks with my eating habits. Granted, I had pizza once and I did eat 1 hamburger. In 3 weeks. That was my cheat. Otherwise? I have been a pretty good girl. By that, I mean oatmeal for breakfast, a tuna wrap (not tuna salad - tuna) and organic yogurt + fresh fruit for lunch, and assorted (much smaller than my average portions of) dinner.

I have slightly increased my activity. Not much yet, but more than before. I drink no soda. I have 1 unsweetened coffee in the morning with a little organic milk (I can't quite go black).

So, I have been a good girl, right?

**WARNING** THAR BE SWEARIN' AHEAD, MATEY... I mean a hell of a lot of swearing....

Not 1 fucking pound lost. Not a single Goddamn pound.

I nibble once or twice a day on tiny <100 calorie snacks between "meals" to try to keep the "I'm not eating much" migraines at bay (which is why I can't starve myself thin, even if I wanted to. I have to function/work/parent/etc & migraines preclude that). Most of those snacks? Are whole grain/organic/etc. I'm not fucking around here. Yet still? Not 1 pound. Let me tell you, I am angry as all holy hell. I can eat tasty filling food & drink soda & hang out at 203 pounds. Why the F am I spending all this money on whole grain organic stuff, fresh fruits etc if nothing is happening? In 3 weeks, something should be happening.

I'm hungry constantly, my tummy is in knots over all this fabulous fiber & whole grain stuff I'm eating, I have migraines hanging in the wings....and not 1 fucking pound.

Tomorrow, I step it up with a gym membership. But let me tell you, I'm really discouraged right now. I am terrified that I'm going to blow money on a gym membership, take "spare" time I don't have much of to faithfully work out....& still not lose any weight.

I say this because it has happened before. I spent a good 2 months eating healthy & faithfully walking (+ tiny bits of jogging...which is what killed my knee) 3 miles a day like 4 days a week. Again, no weight lost.

I'm freaked out because I don't want to be putting forth this much effort & be this far out of my comfort zone and have nothing but wasted time, money, and migraines to show for it.

Oh, & lest we blame it on an underactive thyroid? No luck. Tested that. I'm as normal as normal can be (at least as it pertains to thyroid function...)

So, I have to say...WTF?

Seriously, I need some positive reinforcement from my F*ing metabolism. Fat needs to come off.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled happy blogs.

Sorry. My scale pissed me off. I've been working hard & I was actually quite crushed.

12 comments:

  1. Hungry all the time is not good. You need to eat more. I think your tiny snacks need to be more substancial and include protein. Almonds, hard boiled egg with apple. The hardcores (Jillian Michaels and friends) say that to turn up your metabolism you need to eat small meals every 2-3 hours.
    I can send you some recipes if you would like. I have high protein almond pancakes which are a great snack. It is a lot of work to plan so many meals but I think the effort is worth it.
    No apologies allowed. You've made great changes and you entitled to be cross at the scale.

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  2. Awwwww . . . this situation?

    SUCKS.

    Keep doing what you are doing. Go to the gym.

    And stop stepping on that damned scale.

    You will feel better shortly. No matter how many of the pounds are lost. I promise.

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  3. Found/following you through Mama's Lil Chick/Nestwork. Great blog. Sorry to hear about your status quo on the whole diet. It does sound like you need to eat more substantial snacks and definitely do the gym. I can't run anymore either so I walk and do the elliptical. Keep it up! Remember you'll feel worse if you give up!

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  4. Ugh...so sorry to hear it! And the swearing was necessary. I wish I had some advice to give that would help you, but I got nuthin'. The only thing I can offer you is support and virtual hugs :)

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  5. Stopping over from Mommy's Nestwork.

    Sorry about what you're going through. I can totally relate! Ugh. Swimming has helped me tremendously in the past. That's what I need to start doing again. Regularly.

    Mamahood, Among Other Things...

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  6. Are you making sure to eat at least 1000 calories a day? Any less and your body goes into starvation mode and just stores Everything.

    And remember - when you start building up muscle by adding in exercise? Totally weighs more than the fat so you'll be getting smaller but not lighter for a bit.

    Also? You can Totally do it!

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  7. Story of my life! Seriously. I feel for you. I wish I had some sort of brilliant suggestion, but I don't. If I did I wouldn't be over here drinking my lo-carb monster and eating a sausage on a stick. All I can say is don't give up on it. If it were easy everybody would be all skinny, right? Oh, and I would have been cussing like a sailor, too.

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  8. Oh don't stop, you are definitely on the right track! I came to this post all ready to give you all kinds of unwanted advice, but I have nothing. You can do this!

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  9. I'm sorry you're disappointed. I don't understand diets either or how they work. Just keep at it and you are bound to see results soon. Meanwhile, know that you have my 188% support. :)

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  10. Found your blog from WMW. I feel for you - my metabolism was great when I was pumping, then took a nose dive. I am currently trying to get in shape - only problem is I have gained weight - muscle weight, but still it's discouraging. And despite working out 6 days a week....I still have to really watch what I eat. Shouldn't I be able to eat fries every day in exchange for literally working my ass off? Guess not. (Sigh)

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  11. fat is a fucking asshole, for real. and scales. those, too. jerks. [i'm here because i loved the label 'whole lotta swearing' - i tend to cuss some.

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  12. Heh. I used to be full on sailor-truckdriver, but I've toned it down a bit since my kid is repeating things now. I don't swear a whole lot in my posts...but if I feel it's necessary, I let the F bombs fly. :)

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