Friday, January 14, 2011

Feeling Cantankerous

Today is not going as I had hoped. I need an outlet so that I don't explode or cry. Neither of which is seen as particularly professional.

And since it's officially a bloggy boycott day? I feel today would be the perfect day to chuck the (possibly) interesting post I had in mind and just go for the vent since my 7 readers will not be reading today anyway.

I have been battling a cold for over 3 weeks now, and while some aspects get better, some things come back. Or new things will appear. The past 2 days? I cannot breathe because my nose is all stuffy....which is something I. Just. Can't. Stand.

Also? My head hurts. Just a little, but it hurts. And it feels stuffy too.

All of this shit? Means I haven't slept well in weeks.

I'm also officially not pregnant for month 2. Which is not unexpected, being that hacking, coughing, sneezing, & being generally filled with mucus is not much of an aphrodisiac. It is, however, still a bit of a let down.

Due to all of the above, I've not been spending much quality time with Hub...which probably contributes to the whole "not pregnant" thing. And it seems lately that, more so than usual, every time I try to talk to him there is something else going on that pulls his focus.

This is part of the danger in being married to someone with ADHD. Focus isn't really their thing. Most of the time I'm used to it, but lately it has really bothered me. And what's even more annoying? Is that I don't really have anything to even if he gave me his undivided attention? I don't really have a whole lot to talk about.

Perhaps I'm just feeling needy and pathetic because I've been sick for so long. I don't normally get sick like this & am usually able to just "man it out." Which is a bit of an ironic thought...being that most men I've known are giant pussies when it comes to being ill...but I digress.

So tonight was supposed to be our evening to spend together. To have some us time. Some special us time. Unfortunately for me, my "guest" T.O.M. has arrived 2 days earlier than scheduled and Hub is not into threesomes. Hmph.

So I suppose I might be a little hormonal and possibly slightly irrational. Perhaps.

I just want something. Perhaps a nice conversation about a topic I enjoy.

Or a series of nights where I actually sleep well.

Or perhaps some good, dirty sex.

Not necessarily in that order.

Or for this motherfucking cold to go away. Seriously.

I'm just feeling very ornery and cantankerous. I feel very cynical and bummed right now...and I don't like being that way. And I don't like having bitchy blogs.

At some point? I want this blog to reflect my actual writing ability...instead of being a glorified journal that 7 other people also read.

But that is a post for another day.



  1. hang in there--it took a year of trying before I got pregnant. Now, I am 3 weeks from delivery, have a cold, cannot get out of bed without massive contortions, and have the same evil cold you have (no medicine allowed for me).

    Oh and sorry for telling you hang in there about the getting pg thing. I hated when people told me that, so it sucks--I know. Remember the days when you actually prayed you got your "visitor?" Good times, good times.

  2. As one of your 7 (ha!) readers, I'm sorry you're dealing with so many things at one time!! Hope your cold goes away soon because I seriously think anyone's outlook can be ruined when dealing with a cold from hell!!!

  3. LoL...yeah, it's hard to be patient with the trying thing. Plus I made the mistake of watching some of those "In the Womb" specials on Discovery...where they talk about all the obstacles sperm have to navigate to even GET to the egg. Then combining that with the knowledge that I'm only fertile for 12-24 hours each month? *sigh*

    I hate waiting. LoL

    I do feel for you about the evil cold & no medication. I did that twice when I was preg. with my fun. I wish you luck & speedy recovery with that as well. ;o)

  4. Thanks :) That's part of my that the cold is wearing me out & I'm getting crabby. I don't like being all cynical & bummy. And, um, neither does my family, really. Ahem.

  5. Sweetie, you need sleep. I'm sorry I can't give you that.

  6. Hub isn't in to threesomes. Ha ha ha! Seriously funny.
    Boo on the cold from hell. And the period. Mother Nature can be a real bitch when she wants to.
    I enjoy reading your bitchy posts. They make me laugh, and showcase your writing ability. Win-win! :)

  7. Aww, hope you are feeling better. That really sucks. And maybe this month will be the right month.
    P.s. Read this on Saturday, but has been a crazy, ridiculous weekend (plus the husband is sick too – he can’t seem to get over it either), so getting around to responding now. I love being one of your readers! :)