Today is not going as I had hoped. I need an outlet so that I don't explode or cry. Neither of which is seen as particularly professional.
And since it's officially a bloggy boycott day? I feel today would be the perfect day to chuck the (possibly) interesting post I had in mind and just go for the vent since my 7 readers will not be reading today anyway.
I have been battling a cold for over 3 weeks now, and while some aspects get better, some things come back. Or new things will appear. The past 2 days? I cannot breathe because my nose is all stuffy....which is something I. Just. Can't. Stand.
Also? My head hurts. Just a little, but it hurts. And it feels stuffy too.
All of this shit? Means I haven't slept well in weeks.
I'm also officially not pregnant for month 2. Which is not unexpected, being that hacking, coughing, sneezing, & being generally filled with mucus is not much of an aphrodisiac. It is, however, still a bit of a let down.
Due to all of the above, I've not been spending much quality time with Hub...which probably contributes to the whole "not pregnant" thing. And it seems lately that, more so than usual, every time I try to talk to him there is something else going on that pulls his focus.
This is part of the danger in being married to someone with ADHD. Focus isn't really their thing. Most of the time I'm used to it, but lately it has really bothered me. And what's even more annoying? Is that I don't really have anything to say...so even if he gave me his undivided attention? I don't really have a whole lot to talk about.
Perhaps I'm just feeling needy and pathetic because I've been sick for so long. I don't normally get sick like this & am usually able to just "man it out." Which is a bit of an ironic thought...being that most men I've known are giant pussies when it comes to being ill...but I digress.
So tonight was supposed to be our evening to spend together. To have some us time. Some special us time. Unfortunately for me, my "guest" T.O.M. has arrived 2 days earlier than scheduled and Hub is not into threesomes. Hmph.
So I suppose I might be a little hormonal and possibly slightly irrational. Perhaps.
I just want something. Perhaps a nice conversation about a topic I enjoy.
Or a series of nights where I actually sleep well.
Or perhaps some good, dirty sex.
Not necessarily in that order.
Or for this motherfucking cold to go away. Seriously.
I'm just feeling very ornery and cantankerous. I feel very cynical and bummed right now...and I don't like being that way. And I don't like having bitchy blogs.
At some point? I want this blog to reflect my actual writing ability...instead of being a glorified journal that 7 other people also read.
But that is a post for another day.